Thursday, March 25, 2010

An Update/Mini Chocolate Chip Banana Nut Muffins

I forgot to take pictures. Please accept these Native American E-Cards as my apology.

Are you sitting down? Here's the thing...I didn't know how to break this to you kids. The most important thing is that I love you.

No, no, stop crying. Mommy and daddy are not getting a divorce. As long as you keep your grades up and your weight down. Did I say weight? Good. I meant it. But this isn't about that. Back to my breaking news. I've been a little distant recently because I got a job. Well, a semi-job. Okay it's an internship. And it's almost over...get off my case already! Mommy and daddy are getting a divorce and it's all because of your thighs. There, I said it.

Anyways, I'm in beautiful sunny/blizzard prone Boulder, CO in a rented house and without my wingman, Frank* the min-pin. Last night was one of those blizzard days. Today was one of those beautiful sunny days. Just like your grandmother who can't make up her mind whether to keep hard candy or gummies in her candy jar, Boulder can't get its shit together. (Get your shit together, Grandma.)

So how do you celebrate a snow day when you're an intern? The same way you celebrate any unforeseen dramatic weather change. You stay strong and you bake, dammit. Plus, I like feeding my fellow interns with baked goods. I'm plumping them up so that one day I can stick them all into an oven and make intern pie. It will taste like tired. YUM!

But not before getting some inspirational words from a Native American Greeting E-Card...

"my soul hurts in ways most will never know" (sigh)

Soooo this just got weird. Anyways. Boulder! Colorado! The city that more often than not gets appropriate rest! Baking!

Baking in Boulder is weird. Not like weird in the sense that my oven emits noxious fumes every time I use it (it does) or that the slowest speed on my hand mixer is devastate (it is) but more so because of the altitude. We're at least a million miles above sea level here. I think. So alterations must be made. Just like my skin, baked goodies tend to get a little dry here if not properly tended to (now we're talking YUM!). Luckily, I've mastered one of these things. The baked goods part. Certainly not the skin part. Don't be ridiculous.

Anyways, mini chocolate chip banana nut muffins. That's a mouthful! Get it? Mouthful? You put them in your mouth and they are perfectly bite-sized? And it's a lot of words? Yeah? Well, I love chocolate chip banana nut bread. It's got to be one of my favorite things to make ever. And they're ridiculously easy. And life's hard enough as it is (I drink Seven and Sevens these days and weep over my stock portfolio by candlelight). Also, we get endless amounts of free bananas at work and free food's my favorite. But the thing about chocolate chip banana nut bread (C.C.B.N.B) is that the only part I really like is the crusty edges. So how do I make sure crusty edges are in every single bite? Mini muffin tins! Genius!

This is what it looked like when I discovered fire

So that whole hand mixer thing I mentioned. Are hand mixers a joke? Because they seem like a joke. Because if I wasn't too busy fearing for my life, I'd probably be laughing while using them. Because that's what you do when faced with a joke. UGH HAND MIXERS. Like, I guess I'm lucky I have them at all because otherwise there would be no laughter in this household thus making this house not a home and all that jazz. But really, I'm lucky I'm brilliantly strong and I have some original hand mixers at my disposal (they're called hands).

Still, it's cool using electric hand mixers. Everything you mix ends up looking like scrambled eggs. Everything. Except eggs. Because electric hand mixers are fucking JOKES.

Back to the baking in Boulder process. One of the things I read mentioned that you need to have the oven hotter when baking in high altitude. Something about science. But I'm a lady and reading is hard for my pretty little head.

Who has time for science with all this lovely hair to brush?

Now, the problem with making the oven hotter is that it burns the awesome out of stuff if you're not careful. So this mini muffin baking process involved an excessive amount of oven watching. And you know what they say about watching kitchen appliances...they can't have Beauty and the Beast-esque conversations with you around. So that was too bad.

Luckily, all this oven watching was worth it. I may have stunted some kitchen magic but these mini muffins were downright stunners. Bite size, crusty, chocolate-y, nutty, banana-y, and they made my house smell like heaven. And I love how heaven smells.

*Note: Frank the min pin had to stay at home in DC. He writes everyday and, despite his letters being entirely unintelligible, I can tell he misses me. He especially misses the crumbs I drop on the floor. I too miss his crumbs. Anyways, the rating meter had to change. Part of me wants to send him a box of crumbs and a FlipCam so I can get his point of view. But then I remember he's a min pin. And a dumb min pin at that. He would never figure out how to upload videos to his iMac. Dogs are DUMB.

"I use my interwebz to connect with old friends!"


TASTE: 4.7/5 > Everyone (except Ilan) enjoyed these little angels. So to everyone (except Ilan), I say thank you. But definitely no thanks to Ilan.
EASE: 4/5 > I don't want to boast, but I could make C.C.B.N.B in my sleep. The electric hand mixer could lead to injury under such circumstances but I'd happily wake up to 9 fingers if they came bearing C.C.B.N.B. gifts.
FILTH OF KITCHEN: 3/5 > Electric hand mixers mean batter everywhere. I guess it's better than blood everywhere (I'm a glass half-full of blood kind of girl) but there was a fair amount of batter in my hair when I got to work. And that's slightly more batter than is normally in my hair.
DID THE DOG EAT IT THE DOUGH: Can we stop bringing up my dog already? I miss the awkward cat-dog crap out of him.
IMPRESS-O-METER: 3/5 > These are not impressive. Everyone can make them. However, they are tiny and that's adorable. And adorable sells, guys. I should know - I'm an ad intern who wears side pony tails and a goofy smile.