Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, I'm going to pretend you're a crepe and wrap yummy things inside you.
That has a ring to it.
A vanilla-y, cinnamon-y, ring to it.
Oh you can't hear taste? That's good because Paprika just called your mother a slut and your face a blemish on society. Oh Paprika. You spicy little bitch.
So I set off this morning trying to make protein-y yogurt based pancakes-for-one using the stuff I already have in my fridge. This consisted of these extremely specific, fine, fine ingredients...
3oz Vanilla Siggi's Icelandic Style 0% Skyr (similar to Greek yogurt)
1 tbls Unsweetened Vanilla Almond Milk
1.5 tbls Egg Whites
1/4 cup Vanilla MusclePharm Combat Powder
3/4 tsp baking soda
1/2 tsp cinnamon
1 packet truvia
A dab of crunchy peanut butter
I combined my dry ingrediens and combined them with my mixed together wet ingredients, added that little bit of peanut butter because I add peanut butter to everything (next up: body wash!) and proceded to expect great things.
I only have one kinda-stir-fry pan and one saucepan (I'm that kid who can't be trusted to clean pots if she has more than one pot but mostly in the year I've lived in my current place, I've consistently forgotten to buy a second pot) so I got my stir-fry-y pan nice and hot and ready to go.
It started out beautifully. They were plump and cute little pancakes. The things I was expecting! Such great things!
Then I flipped them over.
Deflated. Both myself and the pancakes.
I quickly added more baking soda because I'm pretty sure baking soda heals all wounds and time can go suck it but it was to no avail.
All hell broke loose.
Actually, if hell is anything like what happened to these pancakes, I'm going start kicking puppies
The little flat, deflated, still-moist and soft disks I made were not pancakes anymore. They were better. They were crepes.
And crepes are entirely more fantastic than pancakes. You can roll crepes up with all sorts of goodness and that bitch just got portable. I still sat on my couch to eat them, however. But I did move them from my plate to my face pretty frequently. Held up like a champ.
2 oz Vanilla Siggi's Icelandic Style 0% Skyr (the rest of the cup)
40g banana, sliced
1 tsp of crunchy peanut butter
Spread some peanut butter. Slather some yogurt. Slip in some banana (that's what she said?). I'm pretty sure you can dress your own crepe but I went to a small private school founded by three French sisters with a name that ends in "ehhh" when it reads like "et" SO I'M KINDA AN EXPERT.
TASTE: 4/5 This are the yumz, guyz. Save for the tasting I do of my own baked goods, I don't typically eat many refined carbs or nothin so that means I don't eat much in the way of breads, or pastas, or cereal. Or crap. I also don't terribly like those things so for me to a) eat these crepes and b) like these crepes is saying a lot about them. Also with goodies like that inside of them, how could they not be tasty? Plus 34g of protein is not fucking around so they are very filling.
EASE: 4.5/5 Every ingredient I used was already in my fridge and since Whole Foods employees are starting to judge me with their eyes, that's nice.
FILTH OF THE KITCHEN: 2/5 Shrinking down this recipe to what I have it at now, it only makes enough to serve one person. Less ingredients, less chances for horrible, horrible messes. I mean I still made a mess but then I said "Bless this mess!" and that was that. I don't clean much. I mostly just let idioms take care of things.
DID THE DOG EAT THE DOUGH? Um, it was breakfast time. The dog hadn't gotten out of bed yet. FOR THE NEXT THREE HOURS.
IMPRESS-O-METER: 1/5 OR 4/5 Ok two scores here. These are the least impressive pancakes you have ever seen. However, crepes are French and French sounds fancy and 34g of protein and only 29g of carbs for a typically carby kind of meal is enough to impress me. And I am all that matters. In the world.