Vegan Chocolate Espresso Oatmeal Peanut Butter Cookie Sandwiches. (whew.)
I have some pretty silly fears. Elevator doors closing on me. Falling down escalators. Falling up stairs. Falling on my face. (There is something wrong with my balance? There is something wrong with my balance.)
But those are the
|It's common knowledge that I like my cookie doughs to look as|
much like bowel movements as possible.
But where I struggle the most is carbs. Specifically post-workout carbs. And to make it worse, I've been falling in love with running these days. And as we're getting pretty hot and heavy, it's becoming readily apparent to me that I need to eat some damn carbs after those runs. For the sake of having enough energy to run again. But I don't want to eat a tuna sandwich everyday. Orrrr ever.
|Is that oatmeal in there or little glimmers of sunshine?|
So I'm going to eat my post-workout snacks like a girl. Mostly because that is clearly the only way I know how. They're going to be Chocolate Espresso Oatmeal Cookie Peanut Butter Sandwiches. And they are going to be life-altering.
|Cute in that ugly you-must-have-come-from-turdy-batter way.|
Assemble these things:
3/4 cup of oat flour
1/4 cup of unsweetened cocoa powder
1/4 tsp salt
1/2 tsp baking soda
6 tbls vegan buttery flavor sticks
2 tbls unsweetened applesauce
18 packets of Truvia
2 oz cooled espresso
1 1/2 tsp vanilla extract
1 1/2 cups of oats
1/2 cup of chocolate chips
wax paper and parchment paper
Do these things to those things:
- Whisk first 4 dry ingredients together in a bowl. Set aside to let it think about what it did.
- Cream the "butter" and applesauce with the "sugar" in a mixer. Make air quotes.
- Add the espresso and vanilla. Is it smoothish? Let me introduce you to step 4...
- Nice to finally meet you. Stir in the oats and chocolate chips with a spoon of sorts.
- Divide the dough in half. Place the halves in their own wax papers. Roll the doughs into 2 log (you-know-what) shapes, about 2" in diameter. Wrap up and refrigerate for at least 2 hours.
Come back. Preheat the oven to 350. Parchment paper your cookie sheets.
- Slice the logs into 1/2" wide cookies. I got about 3 dozen cookies out of this. The original recipe claims 48. I call bullshit on this.
- Bake the cookies for about 10 minutes, or until the tops look a bit dry.
- Remove. Cool in sheets for a few minutes. Cool on cookie racks for many more minutes.
- Assemble two cookies with a tablespoon of crunchy peanut butter.
- LOOK WHAT I'VE CREATED. I HAVE MADE PERFECT POST-RUN SNACK!
Nutritional Info Per Cookie
56 calories / 8g carbs / 3g fat / 1g protein / 1g fiber / 2g sugar
Nutritional Info Per Sandwich
202 calories / 19g carbs / 15g fat / 6g protein / 3g fiber / 6g sugar
|This beats a tuna sandwich 99% of time.|
Dolphin meat wins 1% of the time.
TASTE: 5/5 TASTES SO GOOD IN MY SWEATY RUNNER MOUTH. It also tastes good in my regular mouth. These would also probably taste good in a shoe.
EASE: 4/5 I made the dough on my lunch break today, but only after stopping at the grocery, eating some lunch, and some general fucking around. The hardest part was cutting the turd roll. And that was easy as Sunday morning. Or Wednesday lunch break.
FILTH OF KITCHEN: 3/5 This is hard because my kitchen is a pigsty to begin with. As is the area by my kitchen (known from here on out as The Entirety of the Rest of My Studio Apartment) where I decided I didn't feel like folding my laundry yet. Oh me. I didn't add too much extra mess, however. Just a lot.
DID THE DOG EAT THE DOUGH? STOP REMINDING ME THAT MY DOG IS AFRAID OF MY KITCHEN ALREADY.
IMPRESS-O-METER: 2.5/5 Yeah these guys are ugly. That's for certain. -2 points. But they are Vegan (+1), Sandwich Cookies (+1), and made entirely from my heart (+.5). And then -1 for that last comment. And add another +1 for healthy-ness. Have we carried any ones yet? Perfect.